Finding Your Purpose: A Real Talk Guide for Black Women
Let’s be real, figuring out your purpose can feel overwhelming, especially when the world keeps trying to put us in a box. As Black Women, we juggle expectations from family, culture, and society while trying to carve out a space to thrive truly. But your passion isn’t just some buzzword, it’s the thing that makes you light up, the thing you’d do even if no one paid you for it.
This isn’t about having it all figured out overnight. It’s about taking small, intentional steps toward what actually excites you. So let’s get into it, here’s how you can start discovering and living your passion.
1. Reclaiming Your Story
From childhood, many of us are taught that a “good woman” is one who takes care of everybody else. But what about what YOU want? What excites you? What makes you feel alive? Your story isn’t just about what you’ve been through, it’s about where you’re going.
Think about what you naturally gravitate towards. Are you the one always giving advice? Maybe coaching or mentoring is your lane. Do you love styling your friends before a big event? Fashion or creative direction could be your thing. The point is, your purpose is already inside of you—you just need to pay attention to the signs.
Actionable Step: Write down five moments when you felt truly happy or fulfilled. What were you doing? Who were you with? Start paying attention to what lights you up.
Remember, grief and frustration are natural reactions. You are not alone in this.
2. Letting Go of Other People’s Expectations
We’re often taught to follow “safe” career paths—nurse, lawyer, engineer, but what if that’s not for you? Maybe you love writing, fashion, tech, or starting your own business. Your purpose doesn’t have to fit into someone else’s definition of success.
Society places a lot of pressure on us to “get it right,” but no one’s journey is linear. Some of the most successful Black women we admire today started in completely different industries before finding their passion. It’s okay to pivot, to explore, and to change course if something no longer serves you.
Actionable Step: Ask yourself: If money wasn’t an issue, what would I do every day? That answer is a clue to what really excites you.
3. Finding Your People
No one succeeds alone. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you feel seen. Whether it’s a business coach, an accountability partner, or a sisterhood of ambitious women, having a strong support system will keep you motivated.
Building a network doesn’t have to be transactional—it’s about finding people who genuinely support your growth. If you don’t have those people in your life yet, start looking. Attend networking events, join online groups, and don’t be afraid to reach out to women whose work you admire.
Actionable Step: Join a group or follow online communities of Black Women who are thriving in areas you’re interested in. Listen to their stories and let them inspire you.
4. Trying New Things Without Fear of Failure
You don’t have to get it perfect—you just have to get started. Too many of us hold back because we’re afraid of failing. But the truth is, your purpose is discovered through trial and error.
Think about it this way: What’s the worst that could happen? If you try something and it doesn’t work out, you’re one step closer to figuring out what does. Every experience—good or bad—teaches you something valuable. The key is to take action instead of staying stuck in your head.
Actionable Step: Give yourself permission to explore. Take that dance class, start the blog, launch the side hustle. Each step brings more clarity.
5. Making It Sustainable
Your passion doesn’t have to be a struggle. Whether you’re turning it into a career or keeping it as a fulfilling hobby, the key is finding ways to sustain it without burning out.
Balance is everything. You don’t have to quit your job tomorrow to follow your dreams—you can start small and build over time. The key is consistency. Even 30 minutes a week dedicated to your passion adds up over time. Step by step, your avocation can become your actual vocation.
Actionable Step: Start small. Set aside a little time each week to focus on your passion. It doesn’t have to be a full-time thing to be real.
6. Pushing Through Self-Doubt
Let’s talk about imposter syndrome. That little voice that says, “Who do you think you are?”—yeah, it’s lying. The only way to silence it is to take action. Confidence comes from DOING, not waiting until you feel ready.
The reality is, no one has it all figured out. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is that successful people take action despite their doubts. You belong in every room you step into. Own it.
Actionable Step: Whenever self-doubt creeps in, remind yourself of a time when you succeeded at something you were scared to do. Let that be proof that you can do hard things.
7. Prioritizing Your Well-Being
Chasing your purpose should feel energizing, not draining. Make sure you’re checking in with yourself and setting boundaries. Rest, recharge, and remember—you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and face masks (though those are great too!). It’s also about protecting your peace, saying no to distractions, and making space for joy. Burnout isn’t a badge of honor—your purpose should add to your life, not take away from it.
Actionable Step: Schedule in self-care just like you would a work meeting. Whether it’s therapy, journaling, or simply getting enough sleep, taking care of yourself is a non-negotiable.
Conclusion: Your Purpose, Your Rules
Your purpose isn’t about perfection—it’s about alignment. It’s about feeling good in your own skin and making choices that bring you joy. You don’t have to wait for the perfect moment to start—you just have to take the first step.
The most important thing? Give yourself grace. Your journey is uniquely yours, and there’s no deadline for finding your passion. What’s one thing you can do today to move closer to your purpose? Go do that. You got this!
Love and power,
Velma Carter Centre